John McHugh was the baby of the family. He was also the tallest when the boys were full grown. He was my grandfather, so of the brothers, he is the one we have the most information about.

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Soon after he passed at 90 years old, I wrote this:

I find when I think about Poppy I can’t change is to was. I can’t make the transition that good sense dictates. He can’t have been. He can’t be in the past tense.
 
Maybe other people can. But other people did not live life with such relish. If people have flames that flicker and sputter out at the end of their time, Poppy had lava, that refuses to obey any rules. He knocks down walls, burns a path that could never be ignored. He leaves a legacy so strong it becomes part of the landscape. If he touched your life, you won’t forget it.

Lucky enough to be called a friend? Well, that was a treasure that would never lose its sparkle.


But if he loved you.


But if he loved you.

Then close your eyes and know, deep inside where your heart settles right next to your soul, he is right there. You are chartered with a job. A job to take each day, and do something to celebrate being here.

Sing. Out loud.

Dance. To every song.

Laugh. Until you are gasping and crying.

Love. Like you will never leave.

If you are not having a good damn time, it’s your own damn fault.

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At his 90th Birthday Party, we prepared a slideshow of things we knew for sure about my grandfather. Here's an excerpt:

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My grandfather. It's so funny to me that the rest of the world doesn’t know who he is. He is such a rock star. He was 6’5” in a time when that made him very unusual. His personality is the only thing bigger than him. I've always been crazy about him. But now, as a grown up, I realized what a riot he is. I'm actually going to share my birthday present to him with you because, that describes him well.

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Life’s Lessons
The lasting impressions I have from Poppy.
John Fiscus Allouiscious (Insert his real last name here)
The Lesson: Remember, never take yourself too seriously

He’s always dressed to the nines in white suites and tuxedos
The Lesson: Dress to Impress

Being the captain of his own boat
The Lesson: Find a great hobby

Working for the telephone company
The Lesson: Work Hard…Then have a good retirement

He always seems to know what is happening before you tell him.
The Lesson: Listen to your instincts and trust them…You’re probably right

Blowing the custom built “CHARGE” horn on his car when he came to our house.
The Lesson: Let them know the party is here once you have arrived!!

He always cherishes his cars and takes good care of them.
The Lesson: We spend a lot of time in our cars, love your vehicles they are fun!

Poppy says…”If you’re not bored your punched”
I don’t really know what this means so I guess the lesson is… don’t be afraid to say something even if it only makes sense to you.

Poppy says… “It was raining like a cow pissin’ on a flat rock"
The Lesson: Don’t stand next to a cow that’s had too much to drink!


Poppy says…
“If your not havin’ a good time it’s your own goddamn fault”
The lesson: Never forget you're in charge of your own destiny.

He served as a sergeant in the Army.
The Lesson: Respect your country and those who fight for her.

Remembering his wonderful brother Tommy who died in WW2
The Lesson: Never forget those who made such a selfless sacrifice to ensure our freedom.

His sweet friendship with  (Mr. A’s grandparents)
The Lesson: You can make dear friends at any age.

He goes on cruises and makes friends with all of the passengers and crew.
The Lesson: Vacations don’t happen every day, take the time to enjoy them!

He always takes pictures of the waiters and workers at the places he visits.
The Lesson: Don’t forget all of the people that take care of you. All jobs are important.

Everyone calls him “Big John.”
The Lesson: Make everything about yourself an asset.

He has to have a comfortable bed.
The Lesson: Sleeping well is important.

He drives too fast.
The Lesson: Take some risks, life’s no fun without them.

Dancing with him at the World Trade Center
I knew that was the dance of a lifetime and I hold it in my heart as one of my most favorite moments.

The parades at every visit. Music full blast, flag at the front, all of us marching, “ATTENTION, FORWARD MARCH”
The Lesson: Make things special for kids, they love a parade.

Always giving a firm handshake with a good greeting.
The Lesson: Don’t give a floppy fish handshake, even if you are a girl.

He always toasts “Who’s better than us?”
The lesson: Always have an answer ready for this one… but also know, no one is better than us!!

Poppy always makes everyone feel smarter and prettier than they think they are.
The Lesson: You are who you are, might as well like it!!

Turn up the Bose Radio.
The Lesson: The music sounds better when it’s loud.

Moving on after a hurricane took his house apart.
The Lesson: Unimaginable things happen in life, you have to keep going.

He sings out loud in the morning.
The Lesson: Set a great mood for every day.

Listening to the great grandchildren yodel and talk about cars.
The Lesson: Listen when the kids are talking, it makes wonderful memories for you and them.

He always makes everyone in the room laugh (even the shy people)
The Lesson : Don’t leave anyone out.

He always smells good.
The Lesson: Smell Good! Those around you will appreciate it

The Greatest Lesson….Make a huge impression on your granddaughter, so that when she thinks of you she smiles
 
I'm so proud to be your granddaughter. I love you very much.

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Edward McHugh

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The oldest McHugh brother was more mysterious to me as I was growing up. I remember his visit when we lived in the Bronx. He had wild eyebrows and I liked when he smiled. He married the love of his life and they never had any children. He loved his brothers and his mother very much.